The Power of Being Seen

The other day, my friend posed a formidable, soul searching question on social media. It was the kind of query that stops you in your tracks, as you recognize immediately that the response will reveal a valuable, fundamental life truth.

“What do you wish someone would say to you?” he asked.

Your answer, of course, pinpoints exactly what you’re lacking and genuinely need at this moment. It didn’t take me long to formulate my answer.

I wish someone would say, “I SEE you. I see how hard you work, every single day. I see how many things you are trying to accomplish at once. I see how you attempt to make everything that you touch beautiful. I see how you show your daughter how much you love her. I see how you are always trying to do the right thing, even when others would cut corners. I see your efforts to stave off worry and find joy. I see the magnitude of your struggles, and that they’re breaking your heart, and yet you still get up and do your best, for 18 hours every day, until you collapse in bed each night.”

If someone actually said that to me, I would spontaneously burst into tears on the spot: I suspect most of us would. So many of us are carrying heavy burdens. I thought about my neighbor, whose husband always takes little jabs at her when he speaks. My student, whose self-esteem is so low she can barely look at me when…