We’re About To Break Up With An Abusive President

“The Predator Is Plain To Those Who Were Once Prey” (2017), Prismacolor pencil on black Arches Cover, 12 x 9". by Kate Kretz, from the “#bullyculture” series

Finally… after years of volatility, lies, and quintessential gaslighting, we’re able to leave this torturous, abusive relationship.

For so long now, we’ve been kept off-balance, living in fear of his next wildly unpredictable act. Who will the bully pick on today? Which institution will he dismantle? What abhorrent behavior will he normalize? His constant lowering of the bar has left us dissociated, unable to be shocked by anything he does.

Four long years of almost daily trauma has worn us down. We’re disoriented from the endless chaos and deception. Sometimes, when we were awash in it, before we formulated a mindset to protect our psyches, it was dizzying. But we summoned our inner strength. We grounded ourselves with reality checks and reminders of his manipulative techniques (remember, he simply repeats lies until people believe them...) We knew we had to keep our wits about us to find a way out of this nightmare. We’ve worked towards this day for so long now: we’re weary from plotting the details of our escape.

We prepared for weeks: stocking up supplies, to stay safely ensconced in our homes when the inevitable backlash happens. We’re bracing ourselves for impact… because we know in our bones that we’re not safe yet.

With mentally healthy men, when you declare that you want to break up, they’re sad that you don’t want to be with them anymore. They might mourn the loss of a relationship, but they respect your decision, and move on. But the abusive man paradigm is very different. Like so many before him, he’ll use every means at his disposal to stay in control of the situation, to win at all costs. We know that this is the most dangerous time: when we’re trying to break free. He’s in whiteout, lizard brain mode, and capable of anything right now. In many scenarios, with men like this, everyone in the house ends up dead.

In the president’s own words, when someone screws him, he screws them over… ten times worse. We must plan for the unthinkable, and work to minimize the damage he’ll do.

But, one day, he will be gone. The exhale we’ve held in our collective lungs will be released… to mingle and hover over our country for a brief moment, before it blows out to sea. That evening, many of us will sleep more soundly…